Alice's Story
by lunachickmc
Summary: Imagine waking up with no knowledge of who, what or where you were. It's difficult enough for a human, but a whole different story when you're a vampire. But nothing can keep Alice down for long, that's why we love her. A/V In Progress. R&R please!
1. Fire: The Beginning

**Chapter 1**

Fire.

I was born of fire.

Completely unaware of my surroundings, flashes of light and faces that I did not know filled my head as I frantically tried to comprehend what was happening to me. _What am I? _Terror, confusion and pain were my only companions in this hellacious journey to immortality.

Days – I am assuming – passed, and eventually the pain receded and my (physical) eyes opened. A brief glance around me revealed I was in a building of some sort – a shed? – that had obviously seen better years. Various detritus left behind by – again, assuming – the drunks and homeless that had used this building for shelter scattered the floor, and a general odor of mustiness and disuse lingered in the air. Sunlight streamed down through missing sections of the roof and between cracks in the warped gray wood that made up the walls. Upon noticing the effect of the sunlight on my skin, I gasped. _Beautiful. _I stared, transfixed by the light bouncing away from my skin and reflecting prisms onto the wood next to me. I reached out to touch the wood where the light reflected.

Oops.

I could only figure that must be some of the softest wood ever created, because my whole arm just sank right through it with no resistance at all. It was as if I had reached into a pool of water. I cocked my head to the side, deliberating how to remove my arm from the wall without further damaging it. Though to be honest, it really didn't seem like anyone _owned_ this dilapidated structure, so did it really matter?

Oh my lord! I just realized I don't have clue who I am, what I am doing here, or what _here_ even is!

In retrospect, I can understand the missing pieces to my thought process, but dear reader, you have to understand that 1: I had no memories at ALL, and 2. I had the attention span of a vampire. Which is to say I had more questions than a saint could answer patiently, and was completely incapable of focusing on any one of those questions long enough to fully digest the answer if it had been available to me.

So back to Day One (as I like to think of it).

Upon realizing that my mind was the proverbial blank slate, I sat down to quietly, and then not so quietly, panic. I drew my knees up and rested my chin on them while covering my head with my arms to try to block out the sunlight that I knew would just fascinate and distract me again.

_Think, Alice. You have to figure out what you are doing here. You're really thirsty, so you need to figure out where to get something to drink._

_But that means going outside, and I don't know what's out there!_

_Wait! I just called myself Alice! Holy crap! So that must mean I am called Alice! Yay, score a point for….ALICE!_

_Really. Thirsty._

Apparently, my body had decided that its needs were way more important than any mental celebration over this newly discovered information, because the fire was back. Clawing its way up my throat, burning almost behind my eyes and making me want to scratch my skin off just to get the fire to STOP. I made up my mind to venture out of the shed and find something, anything to quench this unbearable thirst when what could only be called a mental explosion hit me like, well, a mental explosion.

Girl

In sunlight, sparkling.

Man

In sunlight, smiling

Sound…._scent….__hunger__…_

**TERROR**

Running

Leaping

Catching

Girl coated in red, sated

Man coated in red, dead

I screamed and the windows shattered.


	2. First Steps

**Chapter 2**

I know, dear reader – I have a tendency toward the dramatic. Life is what you make of it, and eternity would be awfully boring if you didn't embrace each moment for the epic singularity of it. Each moment in time will never happen again. Unless you're me, in which case you get to do it twice, and in which case that means you get two chances to ham it up. And now a third, because I get to relive it all, here in these pages! It's good to be Alice, sometimes.

So anyway. That scrambled little hodgepodge back there is the closest I can describe what a vision feels like to me. I don't see every moment in real time – when would I have a chance to live? – it's more like a fast-forward, a montage, if you will, of what's to come. Luckily the montage usually does contain the more important bits of the future that is being passed along to me, but every now and then some vital snippet will get left out (Bella had no business on that cliff to begin with, people!) and all hell breaks loose. And who gets blamed? Me. Not the ones who make the decisions I'm seeing, me. I keep waiting for the vision where I finally lose it and tell a certain couple I know that I really don't WANT to spend my days looking into their future, endlessly waiting for one of them to do something they think is right for the other just because they refuse to talk to each other about what's best…..

But anyway!

Back to MY story.

Horror filled me as I resumed my clenched in a ball status on the shed floor. The raging fire in my throat made it difficult for me to concentrate on the awful sight I had just witnessed. What was wrong with me? What did I just see? Who was the girl, and who was that poor man she was going to destroy? Was I imagining it, or was it real? If it was real, I had to do something, I couldn't just let her rip him apart! He might have a family, children. He might be my father! I only knew I was called Alice, it was entirely possible I might have a father, and he could be looking for me right now, and might be about to be brutally attacked by some vicious girl who apparently hadn't heard that cannibalism is completely frowned upon in Mississippi.

"_Mississippi"? Where did that come from? Is that a place? Is this "Mississippi"?_

Ok, new nugget for the mystery file. Along with why, when I think of that girl covered in the man's blood, is my mouth watering?

Back to the man, and what to do.

As I rocked back on my heels to stand and begin pacing, I caught a glimpse of the sun on my arm again. The glimmer of the reflected light reminded me of the girl in my vision. She, too, had sparkled when her flesh hit the sun. The man had not. A fresh wave of horror struck me as the implications of this new thought process hit home.

I ran to search the floor beneath the window I had shattered for a large enough piece of glass. I found one and used the hem of my shift (_oh, I'm wearing a dress, but what an awful color! Did I pick this out?_ My mind skittered to these thoughts to avoid the matter at hand) to smear the ages of dust and dirt. It crumbled in my hand. I picked up another one, same effect. Another one. Finally, using such fine touches I thought I would go insane at the slowness of the process; I was able to sufficiently clean a piece of glass so that I could see my reflection. And fought the urge to scream anew.

I could not stop the girl. Because that girl was me.

When? Did I already attack the poor man? Did I lose my mind after performing such an awful, terrible, reprehensible act? Is that why I can't remember anything? I looked down again at the awful gray shift, and saw a trail of rusty brown crusted just below my neckline.

_Oh no._

_I'm a murderer._

I began to pace the small shed, frantically attempting to figure out what to do next. I knew I could not stay here forever; surely some poor soul would happen upon this shed sooner or later looking for temporary shelter. The bottles and cigarette ashes on the floor were proof enough that this building had provided shelter for many such souls in the past, and I didn't want to be here when the next arrived. Who knew if I would strike again? I was also certain that the authorities would be looking for me – one couldn't tear apart another in broad daylight without _someone_ noticing. And finally, I was thirsty. So terribly thirsty.

I began creeping toward the hole I had made in shed wall, hoping to get a good look outside to determine if there were any people in the immediate area. I tried to keep the weakness of the wood in the forefront of my mind – I didn't want to accidentally tear the entire building down when I was trying to maintain a low profile. Peering outside, I realized the shed was in a completely forested area. _Well, that's odd, _I thought to myself. _One more mystery._ No one appeared to be in front of the building, so I turned to check out the two windows (or window-holes, I should say, since my earlier verbal theatrics and removed any actual glass from the panes). Not a soul to be found.

With a sigh of relief, I approached the door and placed my hand on the ancient metal knob. I realized I was terrified to leave the shed. It wasn't safe, I knew, but it was at least _known_. Once I stepped outside I would be in the unknown, and I had no idea where I was going, or what I would do once I was out there. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the door, trying to psych myself into turning the knob.

_Go Alice! You can do it!_

_No, I can't. I don't event know what "it" is._

_You know your name is Alice! And you know a place called "Mississippi"!_

_I also know I probably killed someone when I was in "Mississippi._

_You don't know that! You saw random disjointed images in your head. They could have been taken out of context!_

_How can a vision of me covered in the blood from a body lying at my feet be taken out of context?_

_I don't know, but unless you want to wait for someone to catch up to you and do only God knows what to you, you better open that door!_

That did it. I took a deep breath and turned the knob.


	3. A Decision About Butterflies

**Chapter 3**

It's amazing what a simple decision can do. I think everyone has heard the old "If a butterfly flaps its wings in Japan, the next day there's a tornado in Canada" adage, and total improbability and corniness aside, there's actually a lot of truth in that. To think, if my repulsion at my first conscious vision hadn't caused me to instinctively cringe at the thought of hurting a human being, I might have never met the Cullens…..

I opened the shed door and gingerly poked one shoeless foot outside. I stood like that, looking like some daft crane waiting for a fish, for approximately five minutes until I accepted the fact that no cataclysmic event would be triggered by my emergence. I quickly thrust the rest of my body through the doorway and pressed myself against the outside shed wall, panting in fear. I examined the surrounding forest, looking for some sign, some clue that would tell me which way to go. Dense vegetation surrounded me on all sides, creating an unbroken mass of green. Everything looked the same, but nothing looked familiar.

I decided the only way to start a journey was to put one foot in front of the other, so I started walking. Straight seemed like a good idea. The forest continued unabated for a half hour and I was beginning to second-guess my decision to walk forward when I noticed the trees suddenly thinning to a large clearing. I could see what looked like buildings on the other side. Relieved to see signs of habitation, I began to move faster, when two things happened at once.

I entered the sunshine.

So did a man at the opposite end of the clearing.

_No. No! NO!_

I froze, panicking. As the man drew nearer, I recognized every hair on his head, every pore on his face from my vision. I glanced down to see the sunlight dancing along my skin, and up to see the man's face process several emotions. First, welcome; the natural urge to say hello to a stranger. Second, confusion as he processed the _wrongness _of my appearance. Finally, fear as all his instincts kicked in to trigger the fight-or-flight mechanism in his brain.

He turned to run as the wind shifted.

The smell. Oh, God, the _smell_.

Every muscle in my body prepared to leap after the man before I had even begun to realize what was happening. _Mine!_ My body, my brain, my entire soul screamed at me to attack, to rip, to tear, to _take what was mine. _I had already seen what to do, seen the contented look on my face after I finished with him. Taking him would end the agony. It was right, it was _my_ right. Hell, it had already been preordained that it would happen, why was I fighting? Why wasn't I moving? Why wasn't I _taking?_

Dear reader, I hope you know me well enough by now to realize I'm no saint.

No, no, no, no, no! Calm down! I'm not spending my precious (ha!) time writing all this down just to tell you that I'm a bloodthirsty serial killer after all! I'm just telling you that I wasn't all filled with "kumbaya, oh my fellow man" type feelings – far from it, I was totally filled with one thought: lunch.

I realized I wasn't chasing the man because I didn't want to have my decision made for me. Just because I had foreseen it happening, did I have to follow through with it? What was the point of leaving the shed if I would just do what had scared me into leaving it in the first place? I thought of my horror and self-hatred when I had the vision, and knew…..I might not know who I was, how I had gotten there, or where I had come from, but I knew one thing: I would not blindly do what I was told.

And so I made my decision.

I ran the other way.


	4. My Night to Whine

**Chapter 4**

Do me a favor, dear reader – next time you hear my brother or sister complain about how terrible our "condition" is, ask them if they like to run. Running is the one thing we ALL love. The speed, the freedom, the wind on our skin, the ability to push all the muscles we normally have to hold in constant check to prevent ourselves from accidentally jamming our leg through the floor when pressing the gas pedal in the car, or ripping doors off hinges when we try to open them.

A tangent, people (yes, I am going to get back to my story, but what can I say? I told you in Chapter 1 that I am easily distracted!). Has anyone ever told you how difficult it is to for us to get dressed? It is seriously more of a pain than it is worth some days. You don't realize how flimsy most materials are. When you have the strength to lift a car over your head without batting an eye, it takes serious control to pull your pants on without pulling too hard and yanking yourself right through them. Ugh, and socks!!! I seriously went a decade without wearing any because I put my feet through them every single morning. Esme finally told me that she was going to start dressing me if I couldn't figure out how to do it myself. Think about that, and _then_ tell me how much your day sucks.

So back to Day One.

As I fled from the clearing I realized – I could run _fast_. The walk that had taken me a half hour from the shed took me less than a minute in my desperation to put as much distance between myself and the (tasty) man as possible. I ripped the door off its hinges (see?!!) as I flung myself into the welcoming darkness of the shed's interior. I crawled to the back corner so I could simultaneously keep myself as hidden in its dark depths as possible and still keep an eye on the door while I pondered my situation. There truly was much to ponder.

_Fact_: I had foreseen the events in the clearing. _Fact_: I had been able to change my reaction because I had seen the event before it happened. _Fact_: I hadn't killed the man. _Question_: How did I see the events in the clearing? _Question_: Could I make myself see other things? _Question_: If I hadn't killed the man, what is the blood on my dress from? And why can't I remember anything before waking up today?

And the most important question of all: What do I do now?

My mind reeled. It was too much to contemplate all at once, and yet I was terrified to venture out into the world again without having addressed these issues. I lay down on the dirty floor and closed my eyes, attempting to clear the logjam of thoughts from my head so I could tackle one thought at a time. As soon as I had begun to relax, I began to feel a somewhat familiar draining sensation at the back of my head. It lasted for all of a second, but in my intense concentration I could feel every millisecond of it before the draining was replaced with a rush, a mushroom cloud of information, rapid-fire processing behind my eyes.

Myself, smiling.

A man and woman with eerily similarly colored eyes smiling back.

Myself, laughingly chiding the man, "Carlisle!"

The woman, crying tearlessly and sobbing "Edward, no!"

Another man with brilliant red eyes smiling happily.

I gasped, and my eyes flew open. I could feel the visions attempting to pull me back in. So much information! I closed my eyes to think and they began again.

Myself, surreptitiously removing clothing from a clothesline.

A man yelling, "Stop! Thief!".

Myself, crouched and snarling.

The visions continued, for how long I couldn't say, but when I was finally able to pull myself out of them the interior of the shed was pitch black. A glance to where I knew the window to be confirmed that night had fallen and there was no moon to light the night. I realized that even with the lack of light, I could see every surface as well as I had while the sun shone. I continued to contemplate the visions for a few minutes until I hit upon the vision of myself crouched and snarling, at which point my entire being erupted in fire again.

It was at this point that I realized I was _different_.

There was so much I couldn't remember, and the snippets that I did know drove me insane with curiosity, but I knew enough to be aware that most people didn't smell each other and think "food". They didn't attack one another and they most certainly did not _snarl_. So maybe I was not one of them. Maybe they were my natural dinner? Food? What does one call their meal when it is a living, breathing, human being? _Prey._

I could not think of them as prey. The fire climbed up my throat, claimed me as it's own, but I knew I could not live with myself if my vision had been allowed to proceed to fruition in real life. There must be another way. There must be something else. I would not accept that I must be a murderer. I would _decide against it._

I wondered – would me deciding this change my vision of snarling at the man defending his property? I closed my eyes and emptied my mind. And waited. And waited. And waited……

Okay, so maybe I wasn't the master of my universe yet.

Or maybe the burning sensation that I absolutely could not stop thinking about was preventing me from sufficiently clearing my mind. What could I do? I was obsessed with finding a new answer, an alternative to wholesale slaughter of humans to feed this thirst. So obsessed that I imagined the scent of blood in the air. Not the same as this afternoon, not nearly so sweet, so luscious, but still warm, tangy, _wet. _

_I wasn't alone._

I searched the interior of the shed for the source of the scent. Nothing. Where was it coming from? My entire being was singularly focused on finding the source of this overwhelmingly tempting fragrance. So much so that I went outside the shed without even glancing at the surroundings to ensure my safety. The scent grew stronger, and in my terrible thirst I lost all sentient thought. My will was bent to one thing – quenching the fire. I felt my lips pull back in a grimace bearing my teeth and leaped forward, not even looking for the source of the scent, just following the trail alone. I broke through a copse of trees next to a running stream only to discover a heard of elk drinking calmly next to one another, unaware that death was hurtling toward them faster than their eyes could see, quieter than their ears could hear.

I operated on instinct alone, and my teeth sliced through fur, skin, muscle and fat with no regard to the damage I was causing. I think I may have moaned a time or two in satisfaction. Before I had time to register the consequences of my actions, 3 elk lay on the forest floor at my feet. I stood above them, swaying, giddy and almost drunk with the relief from the pain of burning. I stepped into the stream to wash off as I knew I had created quite a mess.

_Quite a mess?_

_Is this how we dismiss our actions? _

_Not "Oh lord, I've killed 3 innocent animals", but "I've created quite a mess"?_

Dawning horror at my actions left me shaking in the stream. I realized I was only lucky that it had been animals nearby and not humans, for in the force of my thirst I wasn't sure if I could have turned away again. I vowed to first of all, find someone to help me understand what I was and how to cope with these urges, and secondly, to make sure that there were plenty of elk nearby to where ever I went to ensure I wouldn't become a threat to humans.


	5. Demon

**A/N: **_My first Author's Note! I feel like I'm at the prom _

_So I pretty much have this entire story mapped out, but I'm having a difficult time determining if I'm actually going in the right direction, or if I need to "fast-forward" to a few juicy parts. Long story short, if there is anyone willing to beta for me, I'd really appreciate it. I need to bounce the story arc off of someone, and the help on my grammar, punctuation, etc., would be greatly appreciated as well. Thanks!_

_~*~*~*~*~_

**Chapter 5**

Leaving your comfort zone is easier said than done. The events of the clearing and my first hunt (if you can call the mindless flailing through the forest and subsequent slaughter a "hunt" that is) had completely convinced me that I could not be trusted. Since that day I have felt at a complete loss whenever I am without my sight. Being unable to see when I want and/or need to creates the closest thing a vampire can come to a full-scale panic attack (aside from the fact that I have no heart beat to increase, and my lungs do not circulate the air I breathe, making it impossible for me to hyperventilate). Luckily it doesn't happen often, but the few times that I have been without it have been dark times indeed.

Once I cleaned myself from my first "meal" and buried the remains (another interesting experience – expecting to need amazing amounts of force to dig a grave with my bare hands, imagine my shock when I was able dig a full size grave in under 30 seconds….it truly was a day for surprises) I returned to the shed, deciding to await another vision to make sure that I could safely venture into the world without eating the first thing with a heartbeat that I came across. Unfortunately, the powers that be had decided to give me everything but what I was looking for. It was surprisingly easy to make myself have a vision as long as I wasn't burning with thirst (at which point it became impossible to focus enough to make the visions come), but each one reflected far into the future – I knew this because the me in each vision was calm, collected, and clean. I was nowhere near any of those three things. I needed to see how I _got_ that way, and those hours, those minutes, those days, or God help me, weeks or months or _years_ were blank. Like my past, my immediate future was blank, and I was terrified to enter it.

I was at a stalemate with myself. I could not convince myself to leave the shed, although I knew it was becoming more and more unsafe with each day I spent there. I lived on the small creatures – rats, possums and – _blech_ – squirrels – that had the unfortunate luck to pass too close to my monstrous grasp. More and more I realized that my mental constipation had to be caused by myself. I realized I didn't have the vision of the man in the clearing until I had _decided_ to leave the shed. I didn't begin having the visions of myself with the golden-eyed trio until I _decided_ I couldn't eat people. So since each vision was changing with my different decisions it seemed to make sense that I wasn't able to see myself leaving the shed, because for now I was so firmly against that idea. It did please me to come to the conclusion that the golden-eyed people I had been seeing must be a fixture of my life at some point – those visions were almost like celestial re-runs, unchanging and _permanent_. It was comforting to know that at some point I would be with people and in places that seemed like home.

Armed with the dawning knowledge that I would never see myself leaving the shed unless I decided to do it, I set about trying to convince myself _to_ do it. Apparently, the powers that be weren't convinced when I threw my hands up and said "Okay, fine, I'll leave! Now show me where to go!", because the future stayed stubbornly, frustratingly blank. I spent the better part of a day trying various statements declaring my intent to leave to every speck of dust, every rodent carcass, every discarded bottle in that shed, all to no avail. I was finally ready to give up and admit that what had seemed like such a genius conclusion earlier was no more than wishful thinking when I heard it. A voice.

_Oh lord, not again._

I was beginning to think that fate was just trying to screw with me, because from the time I woke up, I swear it was just one thing after another. And worse, I couldn't sleep to save my life. I was beginning to consider the idea that I just _didn't_ sleep, but that was ludicrous. All living things had sleep cycles didn't they? Maybe it was just the stress of not knowing anything that was keeping me awake, maybe once I was able to figure out my who/what/where and when, maybe then I would be able to sleep.

All this nonsense flickered through my head in a fraction of a second as I was calculating how far away the voice was. It was distant enough that the scent of the human had not reached me, but I knew that if the wind shifted that could change quickly, and as I hadn't exactly been feasting on my all-rodent diet, I knew I couldn't trust myself to restrain myself if I caught the scent. My "elk incident" as I was now referring to it, proved that once my body gave itself over to the instinct to feed I would be powerless to resist if I was hungry enough. And I was _hungry_.

On that note, I decided that vision or no vision it was time to leave, and just like that, the vision came. I saw myself turning to the left out of the door and running – flying – through the woods. I saw houses. I saw a street sign. I saw the same clothesline from my earlier vision, and myself grabbing the clothes and running with them. I saw – I saw the need to get the hell out of here because the human would be within range any moment now.

I ran.

Oh, the freedom. To know where I was going, that everything would be okay, to just _know_ was divine. The combination of relief at the loss of my mental block and the joy of running flat-out with the wind at my face and the knowledge that surely nothing could catch me and hurt me had me sobbing with elation. I reached the clothesline and knew before I reached it exactly which clothes I would pick – which would fit me, which I would like (though to be honest, after spending at least a week in that shed, anything would be an upgrade from the blood-encrusted, ripped & torn shift I was currently sporting). I flew through the yard, catching both my next outfit and my next meal (_sorry, Fido, but I've never liked dogs_) and escaping before anyone had time to register my presence. I continued to a hospital that I knew would not be far away and entered through the emergency room doors, ghosting past inattentive nurses and uncaring orderlies until I found an empty restroom. I quickly changed clothes and cleaned myself as well as I could absent an actual shower, and examined myself in the mirror as aside from my quick glimpse into my reflection in dirty glass earlier this week, I had no idea what I looked like.

Hmmmm…not bad. I was small, almost childlike in size and stature, something that might work for me or against me depending on who approached me. I would have to stay away from people as much as possible for the time being, as I was already feeling a strong urge to run back to the crowded emergency room and pick off one or two unsuspecting patrons despite the fact that I had fed on my way here. That might be difficult if everyone who saw me thought I was a lost child in need of rescue. I straightened my back and shoulders and attempted to frown in what I approximated to be an adult-like manner. I had no idea how old I was, but my face looked very young, so maybe I was just a child. My hair was short – too short to be in style from what I had seen of random pedestrians during my run through town. I dampened my hands under the sink and slicked them through my hair to attempt to convince it to lay down, but it defiantly stuck up and out at every conceivable angle. Sighing, I stuck my head under the sink faucet to completely soak my hair down. A few paper towels to control the dripping, and voila! Much better. My skin luckily was perfect – pale as the moon aside from what almost looked to be bruises under my eyes, and HOLY CRAP MY EYES! Red. Red as the blood I'd so greedily drunk all week.

The rest of my examination no longer mattered; faced with the proof of my evil in my very eyes, I couldn't care less what the rest of me looked like. Why was I even trying to fit in? Anyone could look at me and see I was wrong, an abomination. As a matter of fact – the one and only human that had seen me had obviously seen just that. He had turned and fled within seconds of first seeing me. I was convinced now, I truly was a monster.

I couldn't stand the sight of myself. I wanted to run, I wanted to hide, I wanted to smash the mirror into a million pieces. I wanted to kill every single human in the hospital for being so oblivious to me as I had passed them on my way in. How could they let me in here? How could they allow my abomination to continue? I was evil – pure, incarnate evil – and I was ready to make them pay.


	6. Slaughter

**Chapter 6**

I stared into the mirror trying to reconcile all my determination to do no harm since my awakening with my current desire to mutilate – rip – tear – obliterate everything in sight. I couldn't focus. Visions began shifting behind my eyes faster than even I could process them as my internal fight wore on. For every vision of myself feasting on the humans so near to me I lost a vision of the golden-eyed trio that I had already begun thinking of as my "family". For every vision of myself destroying the entire building I gained a vision of figures in robes advancing upon me. Dancing within all these visions was another vision of two boys and a woman with blood red eyes welcoming me as their own.

A clear divide – apparently my actions led to one of three paths; one with the golden-eyed trio and a house, one with a red-eyed trio and eternal sating of my hungers, and one of death. I shoved both hands into my hair and began tearing at fistfuls while frantically shaking my head back and forth to clear my vision. I spiraled further into anger – I didn't want this, I knew I wasn't supposed to be this way, and I hated everyone out there who was _normal_. I couldn't process the visions enough to figure out which actions led to which outcomes and the frustration fueled my fury. Unable to think anymore, pure instinct and rage took over.

Turning on my heel with a spin too fast for a human eye to see, I struck my arms out and pulverized the walls surrounding me. The drop ceiling immediately collapsed over my head, coating me in dust and insulation. Instead of deflating my anger as physical exertion is supposed to, the ease and lack of resistance I felt in destroying the walls further incensed me. I shrieked a mindless cry that reverberated off the walls (well, what was left of them anyway) and belted through the rubble to continue back to the E.R. and further the destruction. Nothing in my path was safe from my hands; curved into talons, reaching for revenge.

As I approached the populated section of the E.R. my pace increased. My feet barely touched the floor as I anxiously anticipated the oncoming horrors I was about to inflict on these woefully oblivious humans. My anger peaked as I approached an obvious mother-daughter duo from behind. The sight of the mother, her arm draped over her daughters shoulders as they attempted to comfort each other in some unknown crisis made me bellow with rage. They never had a chance to flinch in fear from the sound for I was on them in the same instant. I buried myself in the mother first, snapping her neck in my frantic search for her throat. The daughter instinctually tried to pull herself away in an ill-fated attempt to save herself, but the iron bars that were my arms held her against my breast in a mockery of a mother's embrace while I simultaneously drained her mother. I ignored the thousands of images flashing behind my eyes as I turned the daughter to face me. To face pale-skinned, red-eyed, uncaring death. I lowered my head to send her off to meet her mother and heard her softly whisper the last thing I could have expected to hear.

"I'm so sorry."

_Sorry? Why is she apologizing to me after I've just slaughtered her mother in front of her, and prepare to do the same to her? _The shock caused by hearing these words caused me to pause just long enough to look at her – actually look at her innocent face and infinitely sorrowful eyes, and to see the compassion behind them. Though they were a different color the intelligence and understanding in her eyes reminded me so strongly of the golden-eyed man I had referred to as Carlisle in my vision. Both sets of eyes were direct portals to the souls behind them, souls that with just one look you knew were _good_.

And I was evil.

I ripped her head to the side and began to drink.

**~*~*~*~***

**A/N: I know you are all out there screeching in horror and preparing to hunt me down right now…. But I swear you won't regret it if you stick with me just a little while longer! The next chapter will be posted tomorrow and it's a looooooong one. I just figured I would post this so that you would know I am still at work!**


	7. Friends?

**Chapter 7**

Whew! Time for a break in the tension! Told you I have a flair for the dramatic, didn't I? Unfortunately, as much as I want you to like me, Dear Reader, you can't know me unless you know the awful things I've done as well as the good. And what kind of friend would I be unless I was honest with you? The me that exists now has evolved over the decades. Right now I am happy with who and what I am, but always remember – while we are all born to this world alone and scared, I actually remember every second of that fear and self-hatred. Your memories have faded as human memories do. I would venture that you can't remember a thing before you were three. But I remember my birth, and there was no one there to comfort me or guide me and help me learn right from wrong. There was only instinct, and the rapidly shifting, über-intense emotions of a newborn vampire. So try not to judge me yet, pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaase? I promise to take you shopping!

Back to the slaughter…..

Upon discovering there was nothing left of the innocent to take, I cast my eyes around the room. Pandemonium had erupted since I made my rather noisy entrance, and I have to admit, for a roomful of sick people, they sure moved fast (well, as fast as humans are capable, that is). Patrons rushed from every exit, trampling those that were too weak to resist the crowd or too slow to move out its of way. The scent of blood in the air was electric. The thrill of the hunt was on me as my rage gave way to sheer instinct. I felt my back arch and my lips pull back from my teeth as a guttural cry ripped through me. I leaped from the bodies of the mother and daughter to the front of the crowd heading out the door nearest me. The crowd continued to try to push against me, unaware the terror they were fleeing was now in front of them. I stretched my arms out to either side of me, effectively barring the exit. I prepared to wrap my arms around the crouched old man in front of me when suddenly I was flying.

I glanced down to see an arm around my waist and up to see a boy carrying me in the crook of his arm like a sack of flour. He was slight of build like me, and if I didn't feel the rock hard texture of his arm against my stomach I would never have guessed he had the strength to carry me. He looked young, no more than 15, and yet ageless at the same time. He had short brown hair and large bushy eyebrows that knit together in an expression of pure irritation as he caught me looking at him. I noted his eyes were the same demonic red as my own, maybe a shade darker but no less terrifying to behold.

Recovering from my temporary position change-induced paralysis, I began struggling to be released from his arm. Unlike the walls in the hospital, the skin of his arm did not yield to my punishing blows. I began shrieking and yelling pure nonsense in my frustration and panic at being so effectively and unforeseeably captured.

After a few seconds of this I felt something flick my ear. Hard. "Ow!" I cried in pain and shock and looked back up at the face of my kidnapper to complain when he abruptly stopped and tossed me to the ground. I immediately jumped back up and settled into a crouch, ready to jump at him if he made a single move towards me. A brief survey of my surroundings led me to believe we were in a deserted factory based on the abandoned machinery and decaying walls around me. I registered the sound of other people moving into position behind me and detected a high, sweet scent in the air. I shifted to the left so I could angle my body to face all my would-be attackers. There were three – two boys and a woman. I immediately recognized them as the three people dancing in my visions at the hospital. I hesitated, unsure if I should break my crouch. My vision of them had been one of welcome and acceptance, yet my abrupt transport here had been so rough, so _not my choice_ that I couldn't believe this was a friendly meeting. I tried to hold my emotions in check so I could rationally process the events occurring around me. It was impossible to concentrate as anger, fear and confusion flickered through my being faster than I could react. I opted to further observe my captors (for I could think of them no other way at this point).

They were all beautiful, and dirty. The female appeared to be in her mid to late twenties, impossibly tall and impossibly angelic. Her hair was blonde to point of being white and so fine it appeared to float around her head like wild cotton. Her skin was as pale as her hair and the deep burgundy of her eyes stood out like garnets in glistening in newly fallen snow against paleness of her skin. She had a petite upturned nose, the kind that would be referred to as "button" and lips I could tell would ordinarily be lush were pressed into a tight line as she faced me. If it weren't for the impossible situation and surroundings I could have easily mistook her for an avenging angel. But then again, the way things had been going for me, maybe she was.

The two males at first glance appeared to be brothers. A closer look revealed very different features under the dirt that coated their skin. The boy that carried me must have been the older one, but he was towered over by the younger boy. I again noted the build that was so like my own. He appeared to wear a perpetual expression of annoyance and I began to wonder if his eyebrows ever separated or if they were so accustomed to meeting at the furrow of his brow that they just decided to stay together so sit in arch judgment of all others.

The younger boy looked hesitantly between the older boy and the female, so large and intimidating but so young and innocent at the same time. He bore the same short hair as the older boy but upon closer inspection I could tell the shade of his hair was just a tad lighter. He stepped lightly from foot to foot as if the tension in the room prevented him from finding a comfortable stance. I judged him to be 13 but due to his size it was impossible to be certain.

The trio shifted positions constantly, circling me warily as if they expected me to attack at any moment, and repeatedly glancing at each other with such meaning that they almost seemed to be communicating with one another. It was dizzying to watch their dance around me and attempt to keep track of their apparent mental conversation at the same time. I was whipping my head back and forth trying to keep up, but as I had no idea what was passing between them I knew I had to initiate dialogue or we would be trapped in this dance for who knows how long. Since the female appeared to be the oldest, I chose to address her first.

"Who are you?" No need to dance around the subject, haha.

She looked shocked at my question and glanced to the older boy. _Oookay, maybe I should start with him._ I turned to the boy next.

"Why did you bring me here?" They continued their dance around me, looking from one to another. _Did they not speak English or something?_ At a loss for how to communicate with them, I turned towards the door on the southern wall and attempted to dart between the younger boy and the female. All three immediately hissed and rushed towards me.

"Wait!" I cried and backed away. "I'm not trying to hurt you! I just don't know what you want with me!" I threw my arms out in front of me to ward off whatever attack they might be launching.

A small hand grabbed my wrists and gently lowered my hands. I looked up to see the female looking down at me, trepidation and curiosity stamped on her face. "Are you under control now," she began calmly "because if not we can't allow you to stay."

I'm sure the shock must have been abundantly clear on my face "Stay? Why would I want to stay? You've kidnapped me, brought me to only God knows where, and when I try to leave you act as if you are going to attack me! What on Earth makes you think I would want to stay here?!"

The older boy snarled in disgust. "If I hadn't kidnapped you" he made air quotes to emphasize kidnapped, "you would have destroyed that entire hospital and brought the Volturi down on all of us! Hell, we might still all be in danger thanks to you! You acted like a raving lunatic in there – how did you think we were supposed to react to you? We didn't know if the change had driven you crazy, I mean what _else_ where we supposed to think when you went berserk in there? Of _course_ we were prepared to defend ourselves!" His voice grew steadily louder and he advanced on me as he continued his tirade. I shrank back from the anger radiating off of him.

"Andrew, wait! This is why we were watching her – she was left alone during the change, I mean how would you know what to do if you were all alone? Isn't that why we brought her here instead of destroying her? So we could teach her?" The youngest boy looked terrified as he pled with the older boy.

The older boy – Andrew, I suppose – spun towards him. "Look, Milo," he spat "You and Addie may have decided to start taking in strays, but as far as I am concerned, we need to get rid of her and _fast_. I was wrong – we should have left the forest when the old one left. The Volturi may already know what happened, and we need to get on the move before they trace us to the area. Let her try to rip through them like she did at the hospital for all I care!"

"What are the Volturi? What do they want with me? How do they know who we are? Or where we are?" I was suddenly unable to concentrate on being scared, though Lord knows I should have been, because I had at least a zillion questions based off of this terse conversation. "For that matter, _what_ are we anyway? Why are your eyes" pointing at the female "a different color than everyone else's? What does he" pointing at Andrew "mean about getting rid of me? What do you-" Andrew flew towards me faster than even I could see and clamped a hand over my mouth.

"For the love of God, SHUT UP and let me think for a second! No wonder your creator left you!" He screamed in my face and abruptly stormed out of the room without speaking to the other two.

I looked to them both warily. "I'm sorry," I said, "but there's just so _little_ that I know. You're not actually going to hurt me, are you?" All my anger from earlier in the day dissipated, replaced with longing to see the acceptance and welcome in their eyes that I had seen in my vision.

The female, Addie, sighed. "No, we won't. You have to forgive Andrew, he just has a bit of a temper. He really is good deep down inside, though." ("Deep, deep, deep down" the boy snickered) "He was the one who made us watch over you after your creator left you, to make sure you would be okay. He was just a little upset over your antics at the hospital. You really did put us all in danger, you know."

I sank to the floor and stared at my hands. "I'm sorry," I said again, "I don't know how to explain how all that even happened! I was just so _angry_….I guess I've got a bit of a temper as well. It would help if I could just remember _something!_ How am I supposed to deal with everything that is happening to me when I don't even know who _me_ is!" I stopped in a huff, not sure how much farther to go in case I lost control of my emotions again.

The boy scoffed "I'll tell you how it happened – you're a newborn, and you walked into a building _filled_ with humans! I think it's at least half our fault it happened; I don't know why Andrew didn't stop you from going in there!"

"A newborn?" I asked. "Aren't newborns babies?" I was completely confused as my mind conjured up images of squalling infants when I contemplated the word and attempted to find a correlation between those tiny beings and my situation.

The female looked at the boy, and back to me. "Are you comfortable? This is going to take a while."

~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: I decided to split this chapter because it was just getting way too long. Hopefully I picked a good stopping point!


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